Thursday, January 24, 2008

VIRUS: Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK)

Beware, Voyeurwebbers! There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand.

This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT! This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open WORK or even look at WORK have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly.

If you do encounter WORK via email or are faced with any WORK at all, then to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words "I've had enough of your crap... I'm off to the pub." The WORK should automatically be forgotten by your brain. If you receive WORK in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the WORK to your garbage can. Put on your hat and coat and skip to the nearest bar with two friends and order three pints of beer (or rum punch). After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that WORK will no longer be of any relevance to you and that "Scooby Doo" was the greatest cartoon ever.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest pub. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE). The quickest acting WINE type is called Swift-Hitting-Infiltrator-Remover-All-Zones (SHIRAZ) but this is only available for those who can afford it. The next best equivalent is Cheapest-Available-System-Killer (CASK). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do NOT have anyone in your address book, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life. This virus is DEADLY(Destroys-Every-Available-Decent-Living-Youngster).

Update: After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but may require a more generous application.

1 comment:

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